Excuses

My dear Uncle Stan passed away a few months ago, and I loved him. I really did. I know it wouldn’t seem like I did since I lived only 30 minutes away from him for almost three years, yet I probably only saw him three times in those three years. A lot of times I would make an excuse not to go visit when they would have family functions. Lance doesn’t always like coming with me to such events, so I would just not go. Then my uncle passed away completely unexpectedly. In many people’s opinion, he was taken too young, not yet even 65. Although I know the Lord must think differently. I just wish I had come up with more excuses to go see him. Or actually I wish I had said to heck with excuses and just gone anyway. That’s what I should have done.


Now I’m sitting here looking at tickets to fly to Tennessee even though we don’t have the money, and I really don’t have any intention on going. I keep thinking there’s no real reason to go since the only family of ours still there is Lance’s sister, and if we want to see her, we'll just have her fly out with her frequent flyer miles from work. But then I think of my old friends still there that I knew in high school, and I feel like I’ve turned my back on them because I don’t know if we’ll ever really go back. I just know how life works. Money always seems to have other important things to do than pay for a trip to only visit a few people. I feel like we’ve turned our backs on our “roots” and forgotten the little people. Not that I or my husband are famous by any means, but I feel like by not going back to visit, I’m telling all of those dear teachers, leaders, and friends from my youth that they mean nothing to me and that they didn’t do anything to help me become who I am today. But, of course, they did. They did a great deal for me, and I don’t even have the decency to come back for a visit.

Why do I always need an excuse? Haven’t I learned my lesson with my uncle?