11/30/07

The Lone Blogger


Since everyone is probably stressed to the max because of finals, I realize that no one will be posting until after Christmas. As such, I decided that I will be the lone poster of the blog.

Sis. Morgan, thanks for the tips on cooking the turkey. Thankfully, I didn't have to do that this year, but I thought I was going to have to. I was talking to my mom and she was explaining how to cook it and when she got to the part about the gross stuff I had to say, "Wait, wait. I have to stick my hand where to get what out of the turkey????" But I guess there's always next year.

Thanksgiving was quiet. We went over to a neighboring couple's house and had dinner. We brought pies and salads and other traditionals, attempting to make our neighbor's house fit the mold of both my family and David's family Thanksgiving.

Now it is only 16 days until we get to come home for a few weeks. 16 days. I try and remember what it felt like to first come here. When I first arrived in Hershey. It was so foreign. Now it feels like I have two different lives. One out here and one out there, and neither of them are the same or have any connection to the other.

A couple of weeks ago my brother-in-law came to visit us. (He had a business trip in New Jersey). We met him at a restaurant that was rated with 5 stars online. When we arrived and took a look at the teetering sign that said, "Louis'" and the black streaked walls, we concluded that you can't trust internet ratings. We went in the two room building and there was my brother-in-law sitting in a dark corner with a newspaper in front of him. It seemed like some surreal dream; one where you are living your life currently and you encounter someone that you haven't seen since elementary school. And at that moment you have to stop and check yourself. Which life are you living? Are you back to the one before or the one now? And shouldn't they all be the same life? Only they feel like they aren't.

I stared at my brother in-law for a good 15 minutes until I concluded for sure that, yes, he was not a dream or figment. I had to watch him eat his chicken alfredo and slurp up a noodle from his fork. I had to speak with him about his Greek and Arabic studies. I had to observe him take off his glasses and clean the smudges on his shirt before I actually believed it was him. It really was someone from a life, not from a dream. And he wasn't just from a life, he was from my life. And then I remembered, I have not always been out here and lived this way. I had another life-- a different life. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. But how to make the two connect? How to reconcile who I was and who I am with where I was and where I am--I'm not entirely sure.

I have, quite literally, been counting down the days until we go home for Christmas. A paper chain made of construction paper hangs on the door of our bedroom marking each day that passes until Christmas break. When it was first created, it was a circular chain; now it is straight. There are not enough links to make the ends meet. But now that my chain is smaller and the days are colder, I'm not sure what to do. And I feel I need to make my chain a circle again, but I'm not sure I am big enough to make the ends come together for another beginning.

12 comments:

E. Anona said...

Dear Lone Blogger,

I appreciate your posting in our abscence. (Although it wasn't as full of the gentle optimism needed to lift and support us as it could have been.)

I can officially say that we are all running around like chickens with their heads cut off with two weeks left until school is done.

People are dropping like flies from sickness at the WC and when we are feeling well, we tutor with people who are sick and get sick again. (I made Tyler go find some kleenex today for this guy that kept wiping his nose with sandpaper-like TP.)

Anyway, I'm not sure where I was going with all this, but if you haven't heard, I'm having a baby in July.

Sarachel said...

Sorry you have to be the Lone Blogger. I prefer to read people's posts rather than posting my own. More's the pity.

These final weeks are getting stressful, especially since I'm one of those that "dropped like flies from sickness." And I slept in this morning, so I missed my doctor's appointment. Boo.

Anyways...good luck with your Hershy life/Idaho life. I think I understand a little bit of what you mean. I lived almost my whole life in Ohio, then decided to move to Idaho for school, then my parents decided to move to Georgia for a job, now I'm trying to get into Grad School in Utah, and I'm not exactly sure where home is.

I like Idaho a lot, but it's not quite home (and I'll be leaving it in a few more months). I love Ohio, but my parents don't live there anymore.I visited Georgia for a few days and it is definitely not home. The woods and boiled peanuts and southern accents seem so foreign to me--out of my realm. I'm going there for Christmas to be with my family, but I'm not sure it will ever be home to me.

Tough cookies, I guess.

Sarachel said...

Just for the record, I think you both are babies. Just stick your hand in, grab the gross stuff out, throw it away.

If you don't want to stuff the turkey, fine, but it tastes better if it cooks with the dressing inside.

Emily Po said...

Julie,

Good news--I'm writing on the blog. I even thought about going as far as writing more than just a comment, but unfortunately, since I have really only written on this once, I have no idea how to post something. (Go ahead, everyone who reads this. Laugh. Laugh hard. But I'm confessing, so if someone wants to help a poor little farm girl in need, I'd appreciate it.)

I'll quickly update you. I thought I was going to finish classes in December. I thought I was going to student teach next semester in South Salt Lake. I thought I'd be done in April so I could begin my life as an adult in May (I'm not a real adult until I'm 1-married or 2-graduated). Instead, the advising center so kindly informed me just before Thanksgiving that they had double counted two of my classes. So instead of finishing classes in December, I will finish classes in February. And instead of finishing student teaching in April, I'll finish in June, which means I have a few extra months of freedom before I become an adult. Who knows? This might end up being a blessing.

Welp, it's 8:35 on a Friday night, and I vowed to do homework all night, so I better sign off now. Happy travel back to Idaho for Christmas, Julie!

-Em

Chan said...

Emily, when you're on the main page it'll say "new post" in the upper right corner. Don't worry, I have trouble remembering where it's at and I look at this thing all the time. So much for Google being intuitive (or is that Apple?).

When I was in China I went to town on my own one day to pick up I can't remember what. After browsing around several random streets and bizarre shops I turned a corner and bumped into another foreigner. My head didn't know what to do with it; for the past couple hours I had been the only foreigner in a town of 600,000. It literally took me a ten seconds of staring to realize that it was Angie, with whom I'd worked and practically lived (practically, not actually) every day for the past two months. This experience is sort of like your story, but in a shallow way.

Julie, are the Hershey's Chocolate headquarters in Hershey, PA? I like this post. You sound distraught about the whole thing. Are you distraught?

Don't worry, I'll post since I don't have finals. Heck, I don't even have a real job. We'll be like the posting pair, or the typing trio, if Emily finds the right button.

Sara, I hope you feel better. I have a cold too, and I'm upset about it. Being sick is great in high school when missing is a good thing, but it's just a pain after that.

Sky said...

Sara, what does "tough cookies" mean?

Julie M said...

Congrats, Anona! That really is very exciting. I was a July baby myself and (not to be biased) they really are the best. But really, I am very happy for you. I want to hear all the details as they come, when you find out what it is, the exact due date, what you are going to name it, etc.
Mozeltoff!

Julie M said...

Oh yeah, Emily! I'm so glad to hear from you and to know that you are alive. I'm sorry about graduation. Mistakes made by Academic Advising should be repented of by automatic graduation. I mean really, it's not your fault that they can't count over ten because they run out of fingers.

But how is the rest of your life? What are you up to?

Sarachel said...

Julie- Anona and I are both July babies as well. They are definitely the best.

Chan- I am feeling better (mostly). Thank you.

Sis. Morgan- "tough cookies" means I'm not a huge fan of the situation, but I don't know what to do about it. Like you bake a batch of cookies, and they turn out rock hard. What do you do? You can't change the cookies, but here they are. Who wants tough cookies? (or maybe I just made that up...you be the judge.)

Emily Poteet said...

Chandler,

Thanks for your friendly posting directions. Just as soon as these finals are over, I think I'm going to start using it.

Emily

P.S. I'm looking forward to meeting you. You're famous in the writing center, and I seem to be the only person who doesn't know you!

Sky said...

I always thought "tough cookies" was sort of a clich├ęd shrugging of one's shoulders, which I hated you to do after writing such a wonderful, thoughtful blog on finding (or not finding) "home." Who cares if you can't do anything about it? You're still entitled to the feelings, and they're pretty profound. So stop shrugging shoulders or baking hard cookies, etc. This may be news, Miss Sara, but you do not have to "fix" every sad feeling you have. They just "are." And you have a right to them. So there. So there.

Chan said...

Emily,

I look forward to meeting you also, if only for a couple months. Sis. Morgan speaks highly of you. Good luck on finals.