My computer started acting twitchy a couple days ago. It wouldn't open documents with a jump-drive in, the next day I got a notice that my anti-virus had been disabled. Unusual? Yeah. Problem? Probably, but I had work to do, so no big deal.
I tried a few attempts to see what was wrong and fix the problem. Then yesterday I tried to access my music. I clicked on a single song and rapidly my music began to disappear before my eyes. It was like it was being devoured by some unseen monster. The little blue sliding bar on the right side of the screen kept getting larger and larger as my music just disappeared. I sat opened mouth for a few seconds of this and then started to shout. David came into see what was wrong and witnessed for himself the massacre. "Do something!" I shrieked at him. He just shrugged and looked kind of helpless. Great.
I watched as my music slowly evaporated. I had slowly accumulated that music collection with the utmost scrutiny and care for years. It had seen my through projects, clean ups, breakups, fights, roommate avoidances. It helped me celebrate, elevated my happiness, related to who I was. It traveled with me cross country and was like a reminder that this still was my life. Each song had been chosen for particular reason and had been listened to for several. And now it was leaving. It was like watching a friend die.
We worked on my computer for hours but it was gone. No trace of it, no recycle bin trash, no shadow, nothing. We even downloaded some 'recovery software' for way too much money and it didn't bring it back. It's gone. All of it. Every last song. Gone.
Now here's irony for you. All that was left were songs that my dad asked me to download for him, consisting of: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and "Those Were the Days My Friend" by DOLLY PARTON!!!!! Tell me how wrong that is. Wait, don't. I already know.
To make matters more interesting, at that precise moment when I lowered my head to the kitchen table and sobbed, I see a "new mail icon" pop up. It's an email from my sister. She had sent me a song.
The song is called "Hold on Little Tomato," by a group called the Pink Martini. Oh, the irony. I decided that this song is my new anthem. It is officially the only song that is mine. Below this are the lyrics to the song in case your interested. I would have posted the song instead, but I couldn't figure out how to post a song. I think you would like it, Sis. Morgan, it is kind of comforting in a way. Look it up if you get a chance.
Jenny, I'm glad your back. How's your life? I'd like to hear from you. Anona, how are you doing? How's the job? Chan, I'm glad your glad to be back. EmPo, where are you and what are you doing? Are you happy? Hope all is well.
HANG ON LITTLE TOMATO
Lyrics and music: Patrick Abbey, China Forbes & Thomas M. Lauderdale
The sun has left and forgotten me
It’s dark, I cannot see
Why does this rain pour down?
I’m gonna drown
In a sea… of deep confusion
Somebody told me – I don’t know who
Whenever you are sad and blue
And you’re feelin’ all alone and left behind
Just take a look inside and you will find
You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it’s dark
And not a bit of sparkling
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spreading rays of sunny love – just
Hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you’ll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something’s coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead
And so I hold on to this advice
When change is hard and not so nice
If you listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you