I decided that I want to be discovered. I know. This sounds absolutely insane. But it is decided. That is what I want to with my life. I want to be discovered. I can go on Broadway and sing sad songs and learn how to dance and be told that I am wonderful. And after that I will become a famous playwright.

This implies so many tantalizing possibilities.

1- I don't have to hunt for a job! When your discovered, the job finds you. You just have to sit at some corner street cafe and look pretty. I can do that... Maybe.
2- I don't have to teach for the rest of my life.
3- I will have enough funds that I will never have to go to Wal-mart again. Enough said.

I explained this urge to David the other day. He attempted to satisfy me by making me stand next to a wall while he walked around the corner. Then he'd say, "You're perfect! You've been discovered." It made me smile.

Maybe I have had way too much Roadshow for the past month. That's the only way to explain this bizarre desire. If I am not thinking about student teaching, it's all about Roadshow. It's gotten to the point that yesterday at dinner I was talking about it yet again, and David said, "Do you remember that there was a time in our lives when we didn't talk about the Roadshow?" Sad. I can't remember.

I think I must have low self-esteem. I need other people to tell me that I am wonderful to feel valued.
This is a sad confession. I've always wanted to be a confidant, self-asserted individual. I don't want to have to rely on what other people say to feel good about myself. I just want to by myself. I probably wouldn't even like being a performer. The only thing I can play on a guitar is "Jet Plane" and the only play I've been in was Fiddler on the Roof. I was random mama Jew number 2.

So maybe being discovered isn't the answer. But it won't prevent me from sitting at a corner cafe for a few hours, just in case.


Sarah said...

me too.

Sky said...

I have fond memories of a birthday when you and Shalese serenading me in my office with "Leaving on a Jet Plane." Sweet. Though I bit my lip to keep from grinning over the song. But when I found out it was the only song you knew, and you had given it to me as a birthday present, I thought it was GRAND. You gave me all you had. That's really big. How's the roadshow coming?

Chan said...

Yeah, what did you decided to do for the roadshow?

Chan said...

Decide, I mean.

Julie M said...

I posted who won on the blog, but I don't think anyone noticed. I met with a youth committee who decided that they liked the American Idol idea of Anona's. So Anona is the winner! I still need your address Anona, so I can send you your prize. Thanks everyone for being willing to help.
Sorry Chan. I know how much you wanted to win.

E. Anona said...

Huzzah! I'm a winner!
I wish I could brag about being all in-tune with the youth of today, but the sad part is I'm actually operating on their level...I really like American Idol and other selective reality shows...Project Runway, anyone? I know they're formulaic, cliched, whatever, but that's why I watch. No intense drama, nothing legal, medical, criminal, etc. No thinking involved. That's why I go to school, right?

So if you're serious about the chocolate, Julie, (which I hope you are) you can send it to my parent's house at

3662 N. Piute Dr.
Provo, UT 84604

We're moving in two weeks to another part of town, so I don't want someone else to get it. I get the sense that you're crazy busy, so no rush. In fact, you could send it to me in July and it can double as a baby present.

p.s. Tell the high tech youth of today to post some clips of your show on Youtube or something once you're done. I want to see!

Sky said...

I'm tired of Anona winning everything. Geez. And heaven help you, Jewels, if you don't send the chocolate. There's a vitamin deficiency in the last months of pregnancy, which chocolate fixes (really). Anona, have you ever seen the film CHOCOLATE with Johnny Depp? Classic. You'd love it.