Stupid Moments

Sometimes I say dumb things.

Example 1:  A few weeks ago, Brad and I were at the Pharmacy to pick up a lotion prescription for Brad, and when the Pharmacist put Brad’s name and information in the computer, she noticed there was an “Emily Goodsell” in the computer too. She said, “Oh, there’s an Emily Goodsell also. Is she your mom?” I was so excited that someone knew I existed that I quickly and excitedly said, “NO! Sister!”

Oh, how stupid. Then Brad had to explain that I’m actually his wife. And since I couldn’t stop laughing, Brad sent me away to get groceries. Yes, I’d say that was dumb.

Example 2:  Today we spoke in church, and I mentioned that I’m from Rupert. After church, a guy from the ward approached us, and here’s where I get really dumb.

Man: Do you have a sister who is a lot older than you?

Me: I have one who is five years older than me.

Man: Hmm. I don’t know. My best friend from high school married a girl from Rupert, and I guess I was just somehow hoping she’d be your sister. I don’t even know her maiden name…or her first name.

Me: Well, if you ever figure out her name, I’m sure I know her. Rupert is pretty small.

Man: Yeah. All I know is her husband’s name. It’s Luke Wait.

Me: Really? That’s weird. That’s my brother-in-law’s name.

OH! STUPID! That’s who he was talking about.  


iBo said...

EmPo. You are always my hero. :)

Shani said...

You're not alone. I alternate between saying dumb things, and doing them. Today it was doing. This morning I locked myself out of the apartment. To make it even better, I was barefoot. I sent my husband a message, hoping it wouldn't be too long before he got out of class, and just reflecting on how glad I was that it's warmed up. About half an hour later he called, and I walked barefoot half-way to campus so that he wouldn't have to come all the way home and be late to class on the first day of the semester. He was probably still late, but I got back into the apartment at least. Yeah, I felt pretty dumb about the whole thing.

Chan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chan said...

One time I was sitting next to this cute girl in the library, and she was looking at an ulrasound (it wasn't her ultrasound, I knew she was single cause she was in my math class. And have I told this story before? Stop reading if I have). I wanted to ask her about it to strike up a conversation, but I couldn't quite remember the term "ultrasound", so I gave it my best guess and asked, "Is that a mammogram?" She just said, "No, it's an ultrasound," but when I told the story to my brother and he reminded me what a mammogram is, I was embarrassed.

Julie M said...

I love you EmPo. I think you're great. As you can see, all humankind is like this...or at least all humankind at the WC. While we are telling stories, one time in the MC, I was very engrossed in what I was studying. A girl came up behind me and shouted a salutation to someone else nearby and scared me right out of my chair. She looked down at me and said, "Oh my gosh, did I scare you?"
I was so embarrassed that I said, "No, no, I just sneezed...I have very violent sneezes." She walked away a little weirded out, obviously. But there was a guy sitting ahead of me laughing because he saw the whole thing and he knew very well that I hadn't sneezed. I was mortified.

Britt said...

I was reading all of the stupid stories while I was eating. Bad idea. My shirt is messy now.

Emily Goodsell said...

I love all these comments. We should compose a "dumb moments" book.

Shani said...

I don't know if they would all fit in a book... it would probably have to be a series.

Anonymous said...

These are great. They make me feel better about myself.
I have many, many dumb/klutzy moments, but one of the best is the time I accidentally slammed my head in a car door. I still don't know how I did it. But I ended up with a nice big bruise next to my eye, and all my friends had seen me do it, so I couldn't even lie about how I got it. People laughed at me for weeks.

Jami said...

I hate it when I excitedly introduce myself to someone with a big smile, saying, "It's great to meet you!" and they stare back and say, "We've already met."

EmPo, I'm so glad you posted these moments. It made me laugh and made me feel better. Although Crystal, I don't think I can top your smashing-the-head-in-the-door story.

Jami said...

By the way, who deleted their comment? Too embarrassing of a moment that it had to be deleted? Sounds great. Write it again (chances are we've done the same thing. . .or it could help us avoid doing the same thing).

Chan said...

I deleted my comment because it had a typo and a comma error. Which I guess is embarrassing, but not very funny. But thanks for the encouragement. And Crystal, I think your amazing head-in-the-door story might be top dog, though EmPo's original post is pretty good too.

But here's another one. Julie's story reminded me of it. I was sitting on a bench outside of the library trying to write something down, but my pen kept quitting. For whatever reason I was really cranky that day, and when the pen quit writing again, I made this gritted-teeth freakout face and growled a little and scribbled spastically in my notebook for a second. I wasn't being funny; it was a brief tantrum. I didn't think anybody saw me, but there was a guy on a bench a few feet from me, and he looked at me oddly and said, "do want to borrow my pen?"

Eric James said...

So this morning I got pulled over for the fourth time in a month. The first was speeding; I got a warning. The second was by the same guy, but for a burnt out headlight. He was annoyed that this was the second time he pulled me over for it. I didn't want to argue and say, "Nuh-uh." He gave me a verbal warning. Then last week, as I drove my dad's car, I got a warning again for my dad not having a license plate on the front of the car. He hasn't had one for nine years, and I got the warning. This morning I got pulled over for not having my seat belt on (I was a half a mile away from my house at the gas station). She did whip out a six-point turn in order to be directly behind me; she almost hit two other cars. That was more of a stupid moment for her I think. She did give me a $25 fine though. Sheesh.

Emily Goodsell said...

Since I've been into all these stupid moments, I made it a daily journal for my students. They were to write of a time when they felt stupid/silly about doing something. When we were discussing the question, one of my favorite (and brightest) students said, "Mrs. Goodsell, I have one. It's really not my stupid moment though: it's yours." Then he pulled out a full sheet of paper with a list of all the goofy things I've said in class this year. He and another student have been keeping track. Yes, prized students indeed.

meghan & jason said...

Oh, Emily, I remember the days when we used to write down all the funny things our teachers said.

Since you're all sharing, I guess I have to tell you about what I said to Jason last week on the way to my in-law's house. We were driving through the country and passed a bunch of sheep in a corral. That got me thinking. Why does a random person in Idaho have a few dozen sheep? I posed the question to Jason, and then afraid he'd think I was dumb for not knowing, I shot out what I knew was the most likely possibility: "Cotton?"

His eyebrows shot up and his lips curled into a smile, so I quickly threw out the other obvious reason: "Meat?"

He started laughing and said, "Yeah, since sheep make cotton."

Of course, then I realized my mistake and corrected it. Sheep make wool. I know that. Kindergartners know that. Honest mistake! I have not heard the end of it. My mother-in-law thinks we could make money by sending it in to the "Boy was my face red when..." section of the Country Woman magazine. Apparently they like to make jokes about ignorant city-folk.