12/19/09

Power Failure

The internet was getting boring as it usually does when I am at work. For the umpfteen time I went to NFL.com and facebook to see if anything new posted. Around 7:45pm, the lights went out.

When I looked up to see out the front doors of the store, expecting the other shops to be out of power again, all I saw was black and a few headlights from cars. I later found out that not only was the entire city out, but three counties as well.

Immediately I cursed under my breath because I couldn’t close the store. I packed up my things and headed to the other store by the Arctic Circle to see if they were able to close in time.

I then drove home to change. I wanted to do something fun, after the initial annoyance, it was kind of exciting having the power out. I chatted with Ivor, Natalie, SarahJo, and Olivia, and then left. I went to Stephanie’s apartment to see how she was doing.

We decided that the best thing to do was to skip town and go to IF for some food. I called Brit, Aly, Deborah, and Ivor to see if they wanted to join us. Brit didn’t answer. Aly was going to a final. Deborah already left to IF with a friend. And Ivor didn’t answer.

We jumped into my car to stop by my apartment to grab my wallet. On the way we saw Brit leaving her house to go to her final as well. We ended up waiting for her and some of her roommates to join us for IF restaurant fun.

By 9:45pm, Whit, Aly, Brit, Stephanie, and I were on our way to IF. Kasey and Jeremy were in their car and planned to meet us there. We decided on TGIFriday’s because the Jack Daniel’s Flat Iron steak is just that good.

On our way home, around 11:40pm, I was feeling pretty good. The night didn’t turn into another evening of watching LOST. As I drove, an image of my sister, Gina, entered my mind. She was still in Rexburg. I felt myself sink into my seat.

I didn’t think about calling her, or texting her, or stopping by her apartment to check if she was ok. On many occasions throughout the night I had conversations about how awesome SarahJo’s hometeachers were for calling to see if she was alright; and we made jokes about how my hometeachers never called me. And then there I was, driving home from Idaho Falls with a group of friends I love hanging out with, and I didn’t even think to ask my sister. My sister.

What kind of brother am I to forget about her?

I told my mom this morning about it on a phone call. She asked me if I called her since Thursday night when the power went out. I hadn’t. She said it made her sad.

So I called Gina today to offer to help with anything. She simply said, “No thanks. Most of the packing is done, but thanks for the offer.”

This morning I promised myself to be a better brother. I never hesitate to help anyone when they call for a favor, but I forgot about my sister when the power went out.

3 comments:

Matthew R. Hall, Esq. said...

My sister comes home from her mission in September. Every time I think about it, I cringe because I know I'm going to have to take her to get ice cream and ask how her mission was. I don't want to. I think, with Jen, it's that I don't want to let go of my pride and allow myself to love her.

I'm sure this is different for you. But I relate to the feeling of "I'm a crappy brother."

S.Morgan said...

Yes, but you can always change from being "crappy brothers." And both of you DO show your great love for your sisters in your writing. I think they are lucky to have you as brothers.
That night I didn't know the electricity had gone off in three counties. Ivor texted me: "ARE YOU OK?" I didn't want to text back and say, "Hmmm, well, I'm sitting in blackness too tired to get up and light one of my million candles" because that seemed like such a metaphor for my whole life. So, I said, "I'm fine, just dang tired." Immediately, he called. I didn't answer because I didn't want to tell him how helpless I felt about not having batteries in my flashlight to go out and check on fuses. When I truly need help, I can never ask for it. Matt, THAT'S the worst kind of pride. Plus, it had already started to be a rocky Christmas, and when things get too rough, I contract into an emotional fetal position and shut out everyone until I'm on my feet again.
But, when I found out lights went out everywhere, my admiration for Ivor increased because in a crisis, he reached out with concern for others. I fall into Eric and Matt's category. I love many people--truly love them--but don't do much to let them know about it. But, one of "my" brothers did worry about me sitting in the dark and did reach out to help. I was impressed with his good example. When I grow up, I want to be like Ivor.

meghan & jason said...

I always comment on posts a few months after they were written, so no one ever sees them. Oh well. I just want to say that I have two younger brothers. One of them has really been there for me lately, and I feel so close to him because of it. My laptop's hard drive crashed and he sat on the phone and listened while I cried over losing my journal and pictures. My other brother, on the other hand, is still swooning over his bride and I feel like I don't know him anymore. I miss him and am trying to forgive him for abandoning us.