I don't know what I am going to write about. We'll just be honest up front.
Today I have a pain right near the center of my chest where my the fourth chamber of my heart is. (I think). It hurts to breath. Do you think that means I might be having a heart attack?
My mother doesn't understand me. I am sure that this is not the first, or the last time in my life that this will happen. But in my head she has always been the picture of understanding. Right now, I don't feel that that is the case. I try and explain to her my fears of life ranging from what is going to happen next week to what is going to happen in three years. I feel kind of like she is just grazing over my fears. Almost like she doesn't have enough time to listen to them anymore. She probably doesn't. She probably shouldn't have to. I just feel like she should.
That makes me feel alone. This is not the first time that this has happened either. But that's what it is. Loneliness. And that is what scares me about three years from now. Loneliness. David will be working 120 hour work weeks with residency, if we are lucky. Most residents are not allowed to report their hours because they work so much. Should I not worry about this right now? Probably not. Right now I should enjoy the time that I have. But I wish people would stop talking to me about this phantom called residency that sucks the life and joy out of every marriage. Jeez. I thought you were suppose to feel refreshed after your visiting teachers came. I just feel drained for them and scared for my own mental functioning.
I was asked to direct a road show next month. A road show. I thought that they got rid of those things. My mother in law told me that she finally believed that the church was true when they did get rid of them in her stake. But they still do them here. And get this. I have to write a play for it. A script for 9 minutes. So here is everyone's new assignment. Supply me with ideas for this road show and the winner will get a lot of chocolate shipped directly from Hershey. I'm not even kidding. Here's the theme that the road show has to center around: "My Happy Ending." Quaint and appropriate isn't it? I really think that they got the wrong girl for this job. But please, please give me ideas. Perhaps I should have put this paragraph first. Oh well. Help!!!