Official Health Contest

I would never dare follow Dan's masterpiece (Is it possible to get that horse activity as a screen saver? You could sell it, Dan), but this happens to be a terrible emergency. Crystal stopped in my office last Wednesday to finish her Chocolate Milk before studying and ended up talking for 3+ hours--she cried off and on, missed her class, and yelled at Ivor to go away. (I know Ivor thought I was making her cry; excuse me?) In fact, Crystal wasn't really crying; tears were just coming out her eyes. Problem? Crystal is as sleep deprived as I am. We don't sleep, and we're both a big mess because of it.
The night's talk was incredible. But could either of us tell anyone else what we talked about? NO. Because of intense sleep deprivation, Crystal is walking into doors, and I'm leaving work late, thinking it's 9 PM when it's actually 2 AM or 3. (My average bedtime has been 4:30 AM this past month. That's disgusting.) So, I'm sacrificing. To save Crystal's young life, I have challenged her to a contest. Therefore, we officially declare on this blog that Crystal Fair and Sister Morgan are entering in to a blood-and-guts, do-or-die "Get-to-Bed-Before-1 AM-Contest."
Crystal is already swaggering and bragging that she'll win hands down. No way. She's lost already. We started last night. Each had to e-mail Ivor when we went to bed to report in. Crystal lost by one hour; I lost by 2+. But, I'm calling a one time Do-Over. The contest officially starts today, June 18, 2008 (well, technically, it'll be 06/19).
To save Ivor, we mounted a chart on the back of my door. Crystal wants butterfly stickers; she's such a baby. Our sleep-deprived habits are deeply ingrained, so we're only setting this up one small week at a time. (We don't need to pile failure onto this insane addiction to night air.) The winner for the week will buy the other a smoothie. I suggested an IPod as prize, but C. said that would be stupid, since both she and I have IPods already.
Rules? 1. Be in bed, after prayers--with no computers--by 1 AM. 2. Complete honesty, and absolutely no excuses count unless we're calling the other from the Spirit World after a bad accident. That's not funny; sorry, Dan.
But, Crystal says she had a good excuse for messing up last night, and that I didn't have an excuse. She's such a nervy little twit. "You just got distracted," she says.
Ha. I don't know what kept her up, but I had to chase Patch down again, who is having a torrid love affair with a skunk, who hates his guts. After Patch's bath, I had to take a shower, and Lysol the whole house, and then, to overcome the anxiety and stress, I eased into ITunes to find proper "skunk hunting" music for a minute ... or two. In other words, who could judge excuses? Right. No one. So they don't count. 3. No sleep aids--like hammers or chaining oneself to headboards. 4. We must stay in bed. No sneaking back out at any time after 1 AM to walk around under heavenly trees and 1000 stars, or to talk to roommates whom you may never see again, or to watch X-File reruns on TV. No excuses. It's 1 AM or lose.
Crystal is so sure she's going to win that she's already picking out flavors of smoothies. Ha. Crystal Fair is going down.


Crystal said...

I feel like the missing child on the back of the milk carton, or a "Save the whales!" poster.

The following is an excerpt from Sis. Morgan's email to me:
"Tomorrow night, Crystal, I'm going to beat your 1:00 time, In fact, I'm going to beat you all week....In fact, I'm going to make us a chart. And every time I make it, I'm making a big fat X in it, and I'll put a big fat 0 in yours. I am going to win."

Now who's bragging?

And I didn't hear you objecting to the butterfly stickers.

Crystal said...

Oh, and it's a good thing you included the "no sneaking out of bed" rule, because Matt said earlier that I should just get in bed, take a nap, and then get back up again. He claimed that was a loophole, not cheating.

Chan said...

Would you two like a mediator to settle potential disputes? I'd be happy to fill the role.

Crystal said...

Yes we would. As our mediator, you should know that most disputes can only be solved with muffins. Fresh ones. Chocolate, blueberry, or poppyseed.

iBo said...

I think you guys need two mediators. Since Chan would probably forget to mediate and eat the muffins instead, I want to help him in that endeavor. Therefore I volunteer to mediate this competition.

I think they should give me money for every time they don't make it into bed on time. That'll be the double jeopardy round. Sound good everyone? The votes unanimous. OK it's policy now.

Crystal said...

Unless we kill you and bury you in Sis. Morgan's backyard with the beavers.

Matthew R. Hall, Esq. said...

Wow. This has to be the most aggressive thing I've ever seen Sister Morgan write. Ever. Congrats Crystal?

Anyway,it seems like she found our loophole about leaving bed after settling down on time, Crystal. Better luck next time. I guess you could always find some way to drive your bed around on like one of those motorized cargo carts or something.

Emily Poteet said...

I like the idea of the mediators. I think we can trust both Chan and Ivor, but under NO circumstances should Matt be given the reigns on this one since he's trying to turn Crystal into a cheater.

Suggestion: Maybe the mediators should put one video camera in Sis Morgan's room and one in Crystal's room. Then if either cheats, we have true evidence.

P.S. Sister Morgan, go to work today because I'm going to Rexburg, and I want to see you.

Sky said...

No problems with cheating: I have Crystal's room bugged, tapped, taped, and wired. And I'm too afraid of the Lord watching me to cheat.
And besides the chocolate muffins idea, I agree with Crystal about burying mediators in the back yard with beavers, so you better stop making fun of us. THIS IS HARD.
Then, I'm tensing up and freaking out, and Crystal is e-mailing me (not on regular e-mail 'cause I've turned that off, but using gmail, which makes a loud sound when a message comes in). "You've only got 20 minutes left." I was ready to drive to her house and strangle her, but . . . I think Crystal won the first round.
I was so ready and prepared and determined. Then at the last minute, I realized I hadn't downloaded my new songs to my IPod. Yikes. How can I go to sleep without music? (It's amazing how we sabotage ourselves.) I jam the cord in, and ITunes says "This and this and this will not be downloaded." What? OK, so I realize that twit Em Gulliland has bought songs when she visits, since the songs can be filed under "insane ADD friend's taste," but by now it's 1:10. So it's Gilz's fault that I didn't make it until 1:17 for the first night. But . . . Crystal the Butterfly, there's always tonight.

Sky said...

I won the first night by 13 minutes. Wow. But, . . .

Crystal said...

What time did you go to bed last night?
I'm going to go write my time on the chart, and I need to know if I get a sticker.

Sky said...

OK, Butterfly, you probably won last night. I made it by 1:25. But, . . . I'm NOT giving up.