The countdown begins, but who can count?

I steal from the Writing Center a lot these days. Okay, so I don't actually "steal." I just borrow things temporarily from there because I know where everything is. The keys are still "hidden" in the same spot after all. I have been doing some private tutoring with a girl who has been going to freshman academy. I'm more like her "organizational coach"; I help her stay focused and organized with all of her assignments, and sometimes I help her with her assignments as well. It's been nice to have something to get myself out of the house, use my degree, and get paid for it all at the same time. But every now and then I'll find that we need a pair of scissors or a highlighter, and my feet take me to the quiet corner of the Writing Center to snatch a few things from the drawers. (Don't worry, everything gets returned when we're finished.) And today I used the handy dandy paper cutter to cut up the business cards I made for myself. They're definitely not anything fancy, but they're mine. They make me feel all official. It feels wrong to be in the Writing Center alone, though. Eerie. It's meant to be filled with tutors and patrons and a sense of friendship and welcome. Right now it's just dead. I look forward to when school is really back in session, and I'll be able to bump into some of you while I'm there.

Pregnancy-wise, I'm doing just fine. This Saturday I'll be at 38 weeks. (Meaning the baby is "term," but she's not actually due for two more weeks.) She could come anytime now. Part of me can't wait to see her. I have a strong desire to count all ten little fingers and all ten little toes, which I never understood why people did that until I got pregnant. I just never realized what a miracle it is to make a perfectly formed, healthy baby. To believe that my body can do that on the first try without any practice boggles my mind. I won't believe it until I see it--until I can count all of those beautiful little appendages. Anyway, like I said, part of me is so excited to meet her and to finally see what she looks like, but then part of me has to keep reminding myself not to be too eager--"This is the last time that it'll be just you and Lance, so enjoy it while you can. Everything will be different when she comes." Different in a good way, of course, but still different.

Lance thinks she'll come this Saturday. He's pulling the "I have a feeling..." card, but I have to wonder if it's really just that he's so hopeful and eager for her to come that he's turning it into a feeling. I am trying not to think about it, though, so if it doesn't happen then I won't be disappointed. But why did he have to say that? Because even though I know that technically she can show up anytime she wants, I now find myself looking things up online about symptoms of oncoming labor and then quizzing myself on all of the items listed. "Hmmm...I think I could have felt something like that..." I can hear Sis. Morgan laughing at me, too, as I try to make plans on when she'll come. I can hear her in my head "What control do we have at all over anything? It's all on the Lord's timetable." Thanks, Sis. Morgan. I need someone in there to keep me on the ground.


Julie M said...

Post pictures when it is time. I'm glad you are still tutoring. I wish I was too. And I loved your description of counting the fingers and toes. I got lost in that paragraph. (Lost in a good way, not lost in the confused way. Lost in the "I'm caught up in what she is saying because it sounds so light and delicate). How are you doing anyway?

Matthew R. Hall, Esq. said...

I steal books from the writing center all the time. Don't worry about it. In fact, I have a copy of "On Writing Well" with me right now.

I'll bring it back when I get back. Probably.

Sky said...

Mattheeeew! You Dork-Brain! (Excuse me while I turn aside and scream in absolute frustration over how your mind works.)
"Stealing" books--but mostly acting so flippantly casual about it--can NOT be compared to using scotch tape, pencils, and a cutting board. Books are the prize, Child, and they always belong to SOMEONE. I treasure them, revere them, love some more than I love most people.
Maybe it's going take you finally WRITING your own book and watching it touch someone else, maybe even change them to help you understand you never casually borrow books from ANYWHERE without asking permission. Would you borrow a person's house without permission? Their Corvette? To some of us, dear Child, BOOKS rate way beyond those stupid things.

Most of those books are from my personal library, which I don't have room for in my office. So, excuse me, but where is your right to tell Leanna (who also has great respect for books. It was WHY I hired that girl), "Don't worry about it. I'll bring it back when I get back. Probably." ?? Has the L.A. sun completely melted your brain? What the crap is wrong with you? (I think it was the "probably" at the end of your post that sent me over the edge.)

Anona said...

I used to borrow books from the Center too. Once I set off the alarm in the library because one of the books had that electronic tape in it, but I just put on a really snooty look and said, "It's okay, I work at the Writing Center."

Matthew R. Hall, Esq. said...

So, Sister Morgan, your comment made my stomach sink and feel uncomfortably hot.

I took it because I value the content Mr. Zinsser presented in his little volume and wanted to develop as a writer over the break. I guess I should have sent you an e-mail checking permission before I snuck it out of the library.

Oops. Sorry. Change that "Probably" to "Definitely because it is inappropriate to assume ownership of something that is not yours and I want other people to be able to enjoy it as I have."

Sky said...

Thanks for that sincere and immediate apology, Matt. That fixes it. I had no doubts about "why" you wanted to read the book. I shouldn't have blown up at you--especially online. I think it was your careless attitude, and my deep irritation over the week full of totally boring meetings coming up. Sorry.

And good for you, Anona. But, I'm amazed to hear you admit this (and, therefore, condone Matt's actions).
Isn't it interesting where we draw our ethical lines? For me, borrowing a book at anytime, anywhere without permission is a sin--as in, not so much written-in the-ten-commandments-kind, but more the careless defiling of something sacred, because in a book is someone else's heart and mind.
You draw equally strong lines about other things that aren't as important to me. I remember when Chris was copying some of his music for me, and you mentioned a song that Chris wanted? You drew yourself straight up to around ten feet tall, and said, "NO. I never allow that. It's pirating--absolute STEALING." After you marched away, I said, "Is that true, Chris?" He got kind of vague and said, "I don't know. I feel if I purchased the music and want to give it to you as a gift, then it's OK." Big can of snakes there, huh? For many people, I'm sure. But, this is an issue I feel as careless about as you do about borrowing books without asking. So, what do we do?
My children think it's unthinkably bad manners if someone borrows their clothes without asking, but Kaitlin wore my shoes outside while she lived here. She thought nothing of it. Mine were just easier to reach and more convenient than hers. As soon as I told her how much it bothered me to put my feet in shoes that were wet from her wearing them outside, she was fine with it. I know how you feel about copying Cd's, so I will never flaunt that in front of you. But, I'm not sure you can convince me it's totally wrong, just like I can't convince you borrowing books is wrong. I guess the answer is one of respect for other peoples' ethics? (And for me to stop freaking and yelling at other people because the summer is over before it even began. Although, ... if Matt forgets the book, I'll cut out his eyes and eat them for breakfast.)

Leanna said...

Wow. I had no idea my confession of borrowing highlighters, scissors, and the paper cutter would amount to such deeper insights into everyone's morals. Sorry to open the can of worms! =D Oh and by the way, those business cards which were cut so nicely with the Writing Center paper cutter got me extra business today. Hurrah!

Julie M said...

One time Sis. Morgan let me borrow a creative non-fiction book for my class so I didn't have to buy it. It was really nice because it was going to be 50 dollars I didn't have. But now, after having read the book and experienced it, I wished I had bought it for myself. I remember at the end of the semester and I had finished my final, having to put it back onto the shelf in a resigned, sad sort of way. It's called the Fourth Genre in case any of you care to read it. It has some nice stories in there. Although, I am told that there are better anthologies.

Em & Ev said...

I borrowed pencils from the WC every time I needed a #2 pencil to take a test. Now I have tons of them at home in my pencil cup on our computer desk (oops). But I like them because they remind me of the people at the WC, so I'm not giving them back. But if you're ever low on pencils, you know who to ask for some more. :D Besides, aren't pencils for people to take anyway, like the ones at banks or hotels? It's kind of like free advertising for the WC if I ever let anyone borrow them (and I have). So I'm not a thief but someone spreading the word about the WC, raking in new patrons for you all. Anyway, good luck, Leanna, with your little one when she comes! Can't wait to see pictures.

Sky said...

I think this is all Leanna's fault for using the paper cutter.

Tomorrow's Saturday . . . feeling any labor pains yet?

Leanna said...

Actually...I went to the doctor today and even though he doesn't think she'll come this weekend, he told me he doesn't expect me to make it to our next appointment on Friday, either, because I'm already 2cm dilated and slightly effaced. And when he measured my tummy, he said "I don't know how much more you could go." I don't know what that means exactly, but I'll take that to mean that she's measuring big enough to be "done." Sooo...we'll just have to wait and see what happens! Maybe Lance's "feeling" was right??(Sorry if all that was too much info...)

Leanna said...

Just another thought...wouldn't it be funny if I had her on Labor Day? HA!

Jami said...


I'll have you know that I got quite the laugh on your last "thought." You're the best.

I've been compulsively checking your blog to see if the little one has arrived yet. I'm thinking about labor pains and epidurals and all of that stuff. Hang in there and please let us know when anything drastic happens :)