12/12/08

Reluctantly Dead

Last night, due to my friend’s pride/stupidity, I almost died. A ghetto truck was tail-gating our little '88 "classic" maroon piece of crap. My friend had just been disfellowshiped (unrighteously I believe) and rightly so, was irate, and everyone knows how fun tail-gating is. So, we got in the fast lane of the freeway. He proceeded to do the same and thus, sent Dusty into a blind fury. He slowed down to a placid 55mpr and we just strolled along for about a minute. My protesting was like a snowball into a volcano, but finally, he changed lanes. The truck sped past us and I thought the idiocracy was over. I slunk down in my seat due to a mix of shame and relief when he swerved back right behind this guy. It was like a Chihuahua in a fight with a Doberman and I just watched with my jaw clenched, hoping that Dusty would relent to that tiny voice inside his head (he more than likely beat it to death long ago). The man in the truck slammed on his brakes and sent us swerving out of control on the freeway. As our car began to spin fresh doughnut tracks onto the road, the headlights of on-coming traffic blazed through my passenger window; quickly replaced by the orange glow of many different street lights. In the midst of all this chaos, all I could think was "not today, I so do not need this right now." It was as if someone told me I had to change a diaper or mow the lawn. It still baffles me how the terror that most would have felt was a muted disappointment for me. Am I insanely optimistic or just momentarily apathetic? Anyone?

10 comments:

Britt said...

Wow, um...I don't know if I have a clear answer for that one so I'm sorry to disappoint you but I have a possible answer. Let me know what you think. Ok, so I don't mean to give you too much credit it here but I see you're lack of panic as an indication of your faith. I can think of a few times in my life when it would have been completely justifiable to freak out but I didn't. I think the reason I didn't was because somehow I knew that everything would be fine, that God wouldn't just forsake me like that. So, of the two choices you've given, I would deem you as "insanely optimistic" although I feel that faith is probably more sane than anything.

Crystal said...

My first thought was that you just sounded exhausted. Like there wasn't room for one more bad thing to happen.

Kaitlin said...

I absolutely agree with Britt. This summer, one of my coworkers gave me a ride to work. Two blocks from the office, the car sped up quite suddenly and I looked over and discovered she was having a seizure. I remember a sense of urgency ... I tried to pull her leg off of the gas pedal ... but I do not remember panic. I just looked through the front window as the car moved between trees and over curbs, finally stopping eight inches from our office building. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, and afterwards, I tried to understand why I hadn't freaked out. I honestly feel that the Lord was guiding that car, and I am sure He was doing the same for you. Apparently, your work here is not done yet.

Eric James said...

I'm not taking sides or anything, but I side with Crystal. (This doesn't mean that there are sides though). Some days some things just pushes you over the edge. It doesn't matter how big or how small, you simply don't want to deal with it.

Sky said...

For different time, there are different answers. (Why does Britt think she has to have a "clear answer" for everything. That's so annoying.)
When I had my wreck last Christmas, I have no other way to explain it except that the Lord pushed the car to the side of the road, because, just before I ducked my head, I had stopped spinning on the ice (Malad Pass) in the MIDDLE of the road--facing many cars sliding towards the front end of my car. Then, I felt my car hit something; when I looked up, I was on the side of the road against the road bumper.

But, as far as your experience, Nate, I'm going to agree with Crystal also. There's something in your tone that I recognize. You sound tired.

Eric says somedays we just don't want to deal with one other little thing--like I feel that way today, and yesterday, and the day before.

Did you know that a girl from Siberia just won Miss Universe? I think that's interesting.

Sky said...

By the way, I forgot to spellcheck, and, Nate, I love your title.

E. Anona said...

Miss Universe? That's overdoing it a bit. I mean, there are tons of other worlds out there, so unless aliens are competing, the title should be Miss Known Universe.
Hey, I ran into Danny when I was visiting my Dad's student ward at BYU. (He's a bishop) So good to see a familiar face! And did I know Chandler was a TA and not at the WC? Noo.

Sky said...

You are so funny, Anona. I agree. She's Miss Known Universe; I like her, but even though she's blond, she's not from Texas. I mean from Siberia, for hecks sakes, and she's different looking, which is cool.

Yeah, we'd love to have Chan back working, though we see him everyday (so glad for that), but the fame and fake fortune sucked him over the construction site to Rigby Hall. It was a sad day.

Did you get to meet Danny's new girl? I want to know what you think?

E. Anona said...

Yes! She looked so familiar--I think she was in one of my classes at BYU-I and I liked her

Sky said...

This makes me very happy. I want Danny to have the best (I want this for all of you, but he seemed to get overlooked a lot--like Travis Washburn--for no reason).

Sammy does sound like a genius. I think you should write a book about marrying young--pros-cons--not that you've ever been young. I think you were born an old and wise spirit.