7/31/09

Dandelion Wine

Skyler, you're lucky I don't delete this post. It's funny and interesting, but never and I mean never post "to lighten the mood of the blog.” If you sweep enough stuff under the table, you can’t eat at that table after awhile. This blog is a place where anyone can discuss anything (thus I'm letting your post stand), where we are NOT afraid to say the truth or hear it.
Matt's fine. We're all fine. In fact, Matt is more than fine and probably even eager to hear whatever anyone has to say. Talking is GOOD, healthy, and one of the best things about the Center (see Eric & Jami's comments). Geez, if people around me get any LIGHTER, they'll float away like dust motes--and seem just as insignificant as dust. We don't brush things off here like flies when what has happened affected many people. We deal with what happens--whether it's light stuff or heavy is not even a consideration. It's Nada, zero, absolutely unimportant.
But, I'm curious. Did this make you uncomfortable? Instead of clearing the air like it did for some, did it make you squirm a little? If so, why? And don't fire back defensively. Think about it. Why? In fact, I'm going to ask "why" of everyone who read and fidgeted and wanted to take out the little band-aids and stick them all over the blog. Don't you understand that says more about you than what is going on here?
Are you worried that Matt is taking more flack?
Matt, are YOU worried, hurting, embarrassed that we're talking about you, to you, with you? I'm going on the line here and say for Matt that he's strong enough to actually be interested in this stuff, since it's part of his growth, though I don't know that for sure and would invite him to respond.
Geez, I don't think we're dandelion fuzz here that blows away with every negative breeze. At least I don't think I've hired anyone like that--ever! Fun posts are fun and interesting, but not when they’re meant to distract or take away from a good discussion. What’s the matter with you? We talk and talk and talk until everyone feels heard, and then the changes happen. And people can breathe, and it feels good. I promise.
Man, in fact you really hit a big pet peeve of mine. Can you tell? Consider the swear words (instead of pink, flowered band-aids) that I'm mentally spewing all over this page. After hours of lectures, etc, I thought everyone out there knew that I don't believe there is any such thing as a negative mood that "needs lightened." There are dark moods, or fun moods, or heavy moods, hysterical moods, painful moods, laughing moods, but none of them are negative or positive-- THEY JUST ARE; dang it. Thank heavens. When we're dead, lying in our coffins, devoid of any kind of feeling, filled with numbing embalming liquid, then you can "lighten the mood" for us. Until then, let what happens happen. Crap happens. It just happens. And as long as it's sincere and honest, let it happen. Walk through it; don't delicately step around it, holding your nose in the air like a prima donna as if it doesn't happen. You want to ignore the crap in your own life, fine; there's plenty of it to ignore, but we're not doing that avoidance stuff here. NOTHING between people that we want to blow away like dandelion fuzz actually blows away. It stays in front of us, sometimes choking our guts out, until we look at it, and then, we look AGAIN--until it makes sense or irons out into peace. Geez, way to really push my buttons today. I'm very thankful for Matt, Aly, and Chan because their honesty feels clean and fresh and alive--even if some would say it's a little heavy. WHO CARES ABOUT THAT? Again, it's Nada. Not the point.

9 comments:

Skyler said...

Alright, alright. I really did push your buttons with that post. So, let me explain a little bit. I wasn't trying to avoid the issue--I was just trying to post something for everyone to look at. The whole "lighter" comment that I threw in there was only to act as a joke/transition. When I posted that list, it was never to avoid the issue or sweep it under the rug; it was just to be reminiscent of the guys I lived with this last semester.

And as far as if it made me uncomfortable, it did. And i think the reason why it did was because I think Matt got it a little hard from Chan. I mean, I think Chan was right, but I think he was also venting a little and maybe gave a him a little more than he deserved. But, I could be very wrong. Matt is strong enough to handle it, but that doesn't mean we need to beat him down to nothing. Even though he's thick-skulled when it comes to social cues, I think Matt is smart enough to understand what were trying to say without us beating him up.

I really appreciate the family we have at the Writing Center, and I appreciate the honesty we have as well. Like you said, Sis. Morgan, I don't think we should do anything to detract from that honesty, and that's not what I was trying to do. Honestly, I didn't know how to fit the post in otherwise. Maybe I should have just held off and waited until another time? Anyway, I'm sorry I pressed your buttons--that also was not the intention. You said there are all sorts of moods, heavy ones included. I was just trying to make a plug for those lighter moods. They're out there too, right?

Sky said...

Thanks. Straight and real. Why didn't you say this in the first place? Yeah, lighter moods are out there (see posts on Cindy Lauper and "anal"), but you're right that timing is a big thing. But how refreshing to hear that you think Chan was venting and that Matt may be getting "beat down to nothing." Good job of saying what you think. Whew. (I totally disagree, since Matt dished his stuff out over a longer period of time than Chan and some of it was directed at Chan. Maybe he needs to think about that. But that's still between them.) My point is Good job. I feel like I heard from SKYLER--a solid person who has thoughts and feelings about this discussion afterall. You really were there with your body during this whole thing. Yipee. Also, though it may have seemed like I was yelling at you today, you know I was just yelling. . . . Plus, a mesquito just bit me. Did you send him here from the West Coast? Huh? And where the heck did my spellchecker go on this site?

Skyler said...

Haha yes, as a matter of fact, I do have feelings and thoughts and a body. And yes, I did send that mosquito over to you. His name was Bert, and he stole your spell checker while he was there. Deal with it.

Sky said...

Ha. You little brat, Skyler. You're so fired. and I'm not hiring you on again until you move back to Rexburg. Plus, I'm sending your dead mosquito to you, along with some big live ones--airmail. Deal with that, little brother of mine.

Skyler said...

It's totally okay. I got one of these:

http://www.eurocosm.com/Application/Products/Electro-swat/electro-swat-GB.asp

Sky said...

Whaaa, I want one of those. They let you hear the mosquito getting electrocuted to death, don't they? Zap. Zing. You sicko. And go to bed. You're as bad as Nate for staying up talking when we should be sleeping.

Chan said...

"Consider them and they will consider you." Skyler, that's pure poetry.

I love that you not only thought to bring up the electric fly-swatter, but provided us with a link. Very tech-savvy.

Sis. Morgan, I love where you say, "though it may have seemed like I was yelling at you today, you know I was just yelling." Translation: "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but using the word 'sorry' may kill me--I'm not sure if it will, but I'm not going to take any chances--so I'll give this explanation instead. It's just as good as 'sorry,' maybe better."

I'm not avoiding mentioning what I said to Matt; I'm just still thinking about it. So it's pensive silence, not huffy or evasive silence.

Sky said...

Chan, you're half right. I WAS definitely yelling AT Skyler in the begining--and I don't want to hurt him for the world--but then it truly did turn into a ranting post against an "in-denial" universe, which I would not apologize for even if I was burning at the stake for those beleifs. At some point, Skyler fell out off the earth for me.

Skyler said...

Chan, remember that talk we had at the beginning of the semester about being tech-savvy? That link posting was like a seven the scale. I'm pretty sure living at the Abode House has boosted my numbers somehow. Also, thank you for the poetic recognition. I worked hard on that line.

Sis. Morgan, now I know what to get you for Christmas. Also, I'm glad I fell off the Earth at some point. Thanks for that. Haha, no, I'm kidding. I'm just trying to be obnoxious. Seriously though, be expecting one of the bug zappers.