6/2/08

Early compositions

The party looked like it was a success. I wish I could have been there. We finally arrived in Idaho, however, and we are here for at least a few weeks. The drive back to Idaho was as about as exciting as the drive from. But at least we got through 600 pages in the Count of Monte Cristo.
When can I come up to the Center and see everyone? From the looks of the photo album there are a lot of new people. Was that Steve in the pictures, Sis. Morgan? I haven't seen him for at least 2 years.
We got to Idaho and my family left. They went on some business trip. David went to work today, and I have yet to find a job. So I decided to be productive and clean the house. And yet here I am blogging. Yes, summer break is all about unfulfilled goals and ambitions. Joyous times of life.

So I was listening to the classical music station while I was "cleaning" and I learned about this famous composer (whose names escapes me) who destroyed all his compositions from his early years. It reminded me of when I was in high school and I went through all my middle school poetry (you can only imagine how entertaining that was to read) and threw it all in the garbage can. I remember flipping through the journals and ripping out the old poetry and entries that I felt were not good enough and flung them into the trash. I still have the journals with the binding slightly saggy because of the removed pages. I wonder if someday I will regret doing that. I only slightly regret it now, solely because I can only imagine how "tragic and serious" it was. At the time I knew I was destined to sit upon hillsides and under trees to write pathetic poetry. I'm not so sure that that dream/ambition has changed too much--perhaps the genre and the setting in which I would write has altered, but this image of myself has pretty much remained stable. I wonder if the composer every felt bad about not keeping his old stuff, or if he realized it was trash and moved onto different genres and settings of his dreams. Maybe I need to do what he did. Maybe I need to throw out everything I've written since the last purge and start afresh. This coming from the girl who can't throw away her old notes from her favorite high school English class--pathetic.

So when can we all go to a movie or something? I missed the last one, but whose up for another?

2 comments:

Sky said...

If you have that image of yourself, it will come true. Promise. Where are you? I can go Saturday anytime. What time does David work? Or do you want to go with us to Meghan Hoyos' wedding reception on Friday? I'll already be in IF and can pick you up. Or movie? Let me know. Leave message, since I can never find my phone in time to answer it.

Sky said...

WHERE ARE YOU?